“The Book of Going
Fourth” is the first section of Pyramids
and describes Prince Teppic’s time in Ankh-Morpork where he is training to become
an assassin for reasons never quite properly explained. The idea is that his father has this whole
idea that his son needs a good idea of education before he can become a god and
the Assassin’s Guild in Ankh-Morpork apparently gives this out in spades but
comes with dangers. The Assassin’s Guild
does not accept failure, leading to death with anyone who fails even
slightly. Pratchett is parodying the
British boarding school system here with what American readers may believe is a
reference to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but no this book was
published in 1989, nearly a decade before Harry
Potter and the Sorcerer’s/Philosopher’s Stone. This section of the book is an extremely fun
read and allows Pratchett to introduce and quickly kill off a few characters
rapid fire style as they fail their exams.
Dramatically this helps Teppic seem like he is achieving something, but
these characters are largely one note.
Cheesewright is the closest to being interesting as his death elicits
quite an amusing reaction of one character being owed fourpence which he will
never get. Teppic is placed in the Viper
House and eventually passes his final exams with Chidder, another character who
may or may not be important later, before having to go home. Sadly this section of the book fails to give
Teppic any real standout character, creating a blank slate for Pratchett to
bounce some jokes off of before moving on to the stuff in Djelebeybi which is
found much more interesting. The jokes
do land though for the most part and the King’s death gets a good laugh as well
as a lot of the explanations of the assassins. 6/10.
The plot then takes
itself and goes right back to Djelebeybi for “The Book of the Dead” which is
where Pratchett gets to expand his humor on Ancient Egypt, the concept of
mathematics in pyramid building, and monarchy.
The one hundred or so pages comprising this section are full of little
nods to kings with very long titles as Dios, the high priest for Teppic, must
say Teppic’s full name which is ‘His Greatness the King Pteppicymon XXVIII,
Lord of the Heavens, Charioteer of the Wagon of the Sun, Steersman of the
Barque of the Sun, Guardian of the Secret Knowledge, Lord of the Horizon,
Keeper of the Way, the Flail of Mercy, the High Born King, the Never Dying
King’. This is stated as Pratchett fails
to impress at landing a number of jokes based on the concept of traditionalism
in monarchy not being an effective rulership as Teppic finds himself bored out
of his mind and doesn’t really come across as a well defined character. Teppic is much more of a blank slate for the
reader to project themselves on top of.
He gets his moments, such as chewing out Dios for distorting his
decisions in court, which includes ruining many peasant lives as a result. There are also side jaunts into the ghost of
Teppic’s father who didn’t wish to be buried in a pyramid as well as revealing
Teppic’s love interest is his half-sister, but they don’t really go
anywhere. The love interest is the
servant of Teppic’s father, Ptraci, who is just as bland as poor Teppic. Teppic hides her away and is accused of being
his own assassin. Pratchett tries to
raise the pace by including the Disc’s greatest mathematician, You Bastard the
camel, and a family of architects and leading Teppic and Ptraci out of their
home as they are accused of murdering Teppic, but the whole is not the sum of
its parts. 3/10.
Pratchett loves a good
pun and the third section of Pyramids
is a pun. “The Book of the New Son” is a play on the idea of the sun being
reborn each day in Ancient Egypt, yet most of this portion takes place outside
of Djelebeybi, in Pratchett’s Ancient Greek counterpart Ephebe. Teppic and Ptraci seem to lose their way and
go to Ephebe to meet with some philosophers about getting back to where they
came from. This is only mildly entertaining
if you are familiar with Plato’s Symposium
and the works of Xeno, so if you know that sort of thing you may find this
section more entertaining but without the context Pratchett just leaves it at a
bunch of dialogue between characters who do not make an impact. There is some stuff with the ghost of the old
king, some jokes on the idea of silent p’s, and an architect and his two sons which
at least give the plot something to go forward to, but Teppic and Ptraci are
both bland characters and there isn’t much going for it. The second half fairs slightly better with
Chidder showing up and some jokes being made about food, but not by much. 4/10.
“The Book of 101 Things a
Boy Can Do” closes Pyramids in a
similar fashion to the ending of the previous Discworld novel, Wyrd Sisters. Teppic gives his throne to Ptraci who is
actually his sister, so he loses any interest in her as a potential mate, the
Ephebeans are allowed to go to war with Tsort, introduced in the previous book
as a Troy allegory, and Dios is revealed to be over 7,000 years old. It’s a very ‘all’s well that ends well’
ending to the book and doesn’t really conclude, so much as to stop in the middle
of things. Every wrong is righted in
what can only be described as Pratchett pushing a deadline for a page
count. 2/10.
Pyramids
as a whole does not do well with being over 300 pages long. The first section is the most interesting,
but is too long. After that there are
just too many ideas and plot threads, some I didn’t even mention in this review.
‘And now this happened’ is a very good
descriptor for the novel and is the first Pratchett that I have had real difficulty
finishing. 3.75/10.
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