Heart of TARDIS by: Dave Stone

 

Dave Stone is a writer who often has this air of being ungodly clever with his books in an attempt to be funny and that’s kind of what Heart of TARDIS entirely is.  Prominently displaying the Second and Fourth Doctors on the cover with some abstract timeline and the TARDIS at the center, there really isn’t any cover which can prepare a reader for the absolute trip one undergoes reading this book.  Essentially Stone writes two novels which are interconnected by the theme of time, Time Lord intervention, and an obsession with the idea of continuity.  The Second Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria find themselves in a midwestern town in the USA where they become suspects in a series of brutal murders while the Fourth Doctor and Romana are taken away from their quest for the Key to Time by a Time Lord agent of the High Council against an enemy threatening Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, UNIT, and the whole universe.  Like every other Stone novel which I have read, Heart of TARDIS is dense, boasting two distinct plotlines that all nearly collide while the main enemy, Continuity and the Jarakabeth, make their evil plans for the Doctor.  Stone’s book is also fairly slow going in terms of pace, it takes about 80 pages for the Fourth Doctor to actually get involved in his plot while the Second Doctor had already been accused of the murders.  The ending is also equally slow, ending nearly 20 pages before the book actually concludes as Stone includes an appendix essentially to attempt to squeeze as many jokes out of the premise.

 

As this is a book of two halves, that is how it should be discussed, starting with the Second Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria’s half.  This is the weak half of the book and is one that is incredibly difficult to read, especially if like me your familiarity with the pop culture phenomenon of The Simpsons is only through cultural osmosis.  Stone essentially sets half of the book in Springfield from The Simpsons with several characters having their serial numbers filed off in the style of E.L. James form the work of Stephanie Meyer (which I have not read).  Bringing up an author like James is not a good sign for the book as Stone, while cleverly building up ideas and commentary on those fans obsessed with continuity, just gets lost in a plot for this Doctor which does not really amount to anything outside of some explanations for what actually is going on.  The start of the plot, mainly the scenes with the Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria in the TARDIS, are actually really good and the characters are well characterized, but as soon as they step out, they somehow become generic.

 

This is infuriating as Stone opens the book thanking those with whom he consulted to ensure the Second Doctor at least had a decent characterization.  Victoria is the one who perhaps gets the best characterization, as Stone does nail the idea of her being a little orphan girl alone in the universe, though this may be because much of the book spends time in her headspace.  There are several attempts at fish out of water humor with Victoria throughout, however, those actually come across more as creepy and Stone seems to revert her back in places to the stereotypical screaming companion archetype which isn’t actually accurate to her as a character.  There is at least one reference that actually works, and that’s doing a chalkboard gag right in the epilogue with Jamie and his tendency to stab people and monsters.

 

The Fourth Doctor and Romana’s plotline is actually sublime.  Stone clearly has a joy in writing this particular TARDIS team, capturing the spirit of the Graham Williams era while still stylistically having Stone’s style right at the forefront.  The story, almost like The Banquo Legacy, is told from an outsider’s perspective, Katherine Delbane, a woman living a normal life, a boring life, and slowly being entangled with UNIT.  The Brigadier and Sergeant Benton appear here and their interactions with Delbane, the Doctor, and especially Romana, are absolutely wonderful.  Benton is clearly a character whom Stone loves, as the lovable Sergeant is given quite a bit of backstory and an interesting skillset as he’s the one at points to go and help save the day.  The Brigadier and Benton reacting to Romana is also an interesting reflection on the characterization of the ice queen as Stone captures Tamm’s upper class airs and graces from The Ribos Operation, although this is supposed to occur after The Stones of Blood.  The actual villains are explained here as well which feels purely like something out of Douglas Adams in City of Death.  It’s also dripping with tension and the standard Stone madness throughout the book making this half make up for the lackluster other half it is sadly interspersed with.

 

Overall, Heart of TARDIS is one of those absolutely dense Dave Stone books that is not going to be everybody’s cup of tea, but it does somehow manage to have half of its page count be absolutely terrible while the other is absolutely brilliant.  The brilliance and commentary on Doctor Who fans in particular here is also enough to just allow the good to outweigh the bad, but other readers may end up disagreeing depending on their tolerance for Stone and his style.  As it stand’s it’s a decent read.  6/10.